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It is one of the most difficult things I am doing at this time in my life. I have done harder things. more difficult things. but this right now is the hardest thing happening in my life.

It is absolutely frustrating and painful not to see the numbers change on the scale. I know people say it is calories in and calories burn. BUT it is not.

I have counted every single calorie I have eaten in last 15 days. I have constantly been to gym and counted (or best estimated) each calorie I have burnt. I have not seen the scale move. 

Every doctor in the world has told me that I am insulin resistant and the weight will come off really slowly. However, it would be nice to see it come off – even if slowly. Just even in minute quantities. It is so difficult to stay keep doing this and not lose hope. I have done it so many time before. I have given up .

I know, I cannot give up. If I give up, the insulin resistance can lead to diabetic and that is not something I want to live with for rest of my life. I need to focus on getting better, healthier and fitter. 

However, it is driving me insane. this non-movement.