Please be pre-warned that this is a rant. It will be full of generalisation (and a bit of irrationality).
I find my work to be all consuming. It comes in bucket folds and takes over my life – including exercising, eating right, reading, taking pictures, cooking, everything – I become this person who is consumed by this monstrosity that takes over and I become incapable of doing everything else. I know there are people who are able to balance expectations and do everything else. However, I am not that person.
I get consumed by my work and become part of this rat race – part of it is self inflicted – I am incapable of saying no to work. It is insecurity of the current work market where one feels that if one does not consistently work and commit more, the job would be lost. The other is the desire to succeed in the rat race. Sometimes, I hate myself for being such a corporate slave.
And for what? Because I want to succeed but more and more everyday, I realise that the system is stacked against me. I am a woman and in the corporate world (especially of the Middle East) the glass ceiling is unbreakable. It doesn’t matter what you do – if you are not a man, it doesn’t work. I have had better stats both in terms of work done, work brought in and recoveries than everyone in my peer group BUT others in my peer group keep getting promoted and nothing seems to happen to me. I have questioned it – several times. But, there is never a real answer.
If you perform better. You get better results on all the measurable standards of work. But, those that don’t perform better get promoted then that is a problem! It can only mean there is some kind of bias at play. So tired of it all!